deloitte devils take on castle cobras

if you love goals, you would have loved last nights game. if you love goals and the Cobras, you would have hated it.

The mighty deloittians proved unstoppable last night, battling it out against the Cobras. All 5 of them.
Jason K, Jason H, Jerome, Nick and the rookie Shaun made up the full squad of players prepared to play the 9:30 game.

Upon arrival they managed to secure the resources of another player, 15 year old Lylle or Kyle or Harry or something. Thankfully his curfew was just after 10, so he managed to play as striker for the full 40 minutes, scoring one goal in the first half. the only goal for the cobras.

Unlike the home team, the Delotte devils chose to score a plethora of goals. 15 in total. a thumping like that is enough to make any Cobra supporter feel sick. it certainly made the players feel sick. One of whom even vomited.

ouch.

New Kit Launch. The soft opening.

Many things happened around the world on Tuesday night at 18h30. 6 American troops in Riyadd were ambushed. North Korea declared that it would continue and increase its effort to establish its nuclear power. The two remaining Idols finalists battled it, out in duet, on local television screens. And while these events are somewhat spectacular, nothing could compare to the drama that unfolded on the home fields of UFO Cobras.

After 2 weeks of rest, the team returned looking more united than ever before. And sporting a new kit too. But before they could get on the field to show it off, they had to face the club owner who threatened to disqualify them. Permanently. It seems ‘2 weeks’ of rest is a nice way to say ‘not pitching for 2 weeks’. Fortunately, the Cobras showed some fancy footwork and were soon on the way to playing some of the best football ever seen.

Nick scored a hat-trick and seemed to be back in his form. Rory and Jonny both sneaked one in too. And with Jerome as goalie, only five went through. And so it was, as the final whistle blew the scores were tied at 5-5. It was a brave game. In a new uniform.

Hey, at least it’s not a loss.

We've been sponsored

It's official. Team UFO Cobras has their very own kit. And it only took 6 years.
no longer shall we wear a rainbow of colours, business socks or the neck-in-the-turtleneck-as-a-beanie when running onto the field. okay, we can keep the crazy beanie, but from now on we're going to be the red and white team. sponsored by none other than Castle beer.
Hopefully the new outfits will increase our chances of success on the field, as today we are sitting in 9th place. out of 10.
look out for red fury next week tuesday.

Super Soccer. The game with more handshakes than ball control.

It was another great evening to be out in the stadium on Tuesday night. The warmth of summer could still be felt in the air, the team looked positive and there were plenty of seats available. In fact, all the seats were available. Apart from the Cobras and the referee, no one was there. The IDC were late. And so the Cobras once again called on Old Man Father Time to the team. There is an old rule that states for every minute a team is late, a point is awarded. It’s fair, but harsh. Two minutes later, when kick-off actually started the Cobras looked like they were in a fairly good position. 2 nil up is a good way to start any match. The Cobras, the definite under dogs, now had opportunity. The student becomes the master.

Rumour had it Jason’s shoe sponsor (Nick) upgraded his boots to new, highly technological ones that can make you jump two inches higher. Unfortunately, they can’t make you shoot better. Having missed two golden opportunities, he decided to play midfield and let someone else strike. Soon 2 goals were added to the Cobra’s tally, giving them a solid 4 points. But 4 isn’t good when the opposition has 8. We played a solid game. Werno’s mom can sleep with a smile, knowing her son played the game of his life. His wall was as solid as a Trellidoor. Nice one Inferno.

So we’re still in eight position on the league. Tonight’s game is going to be a watershed. Will the Cobras rise, or will they flounder?

Father Time will tell.

If I was a superhero my name would be SuperSorry

The name super soccer conjures up images of a super football. A game played only by the gods, the super men. On Tuesday nights when we rip off our ties, glasses and collared shirts, we transform into those super men. True, we may not choose to wear our underpants over our shorts, but we do suffer the same fate as all super men: a flaw, a weakness so great that it renders our powers useless. That flaw is the ball. You think it’s green just by chance? No my friend, it’s green because its full of heart-stopping kryptonite.

Every time my foot touches it, I can literally feel my heart stop. Survival mode takes over and I kick it away as quickly as I can. Even if it is to the wrong team. As I said, I’m SuperSorry. Fortunately not all of the UFO Cobras have the same weakness as me. For Rory, the ball is his friend. And he proved it by scoring a dramatic goal in the first minute. For Jerome, this was a mistake as he is SuperStitious, believing a goal so early would be our undoing. And by chance, it was. The game restarted and the pace was electric. Despite being 2 players short, the Cobras managed to keep Team Wang on their toes. Brilliant passes and great goal work by Hobs ensured that we were always pushing forward. A missed header by Jerome would have put us into a commanding position. But it was not to be. Team Wang kept their cool under enormous pressure and managed to score 3 goals by half time.

And so it was that the second half began with the Cobras chasing 3-1. Moments later, it was 4-1, then 5-1. Team Wang obviously knew about Jonny’s fishing injury that nearly cost him his leg and played into it. But then Jonny did the unthinkable and set up a great Springbok (off the wall shot) off his gimp leg. Nick received and struck. It whooshed straight into the back post. 5-2. We had a chance. It was our big break. High-5’s all round. Circle Jerk time. But then, Team Wang seized the opportunity and dribbled past every player except Hobbs. With no one back to defend, the ensuing goal was inevitable. 6-2.

So much for the alien cobra venom.

Next week we take on the Spartans. THIS IS (not) SPARTA. It’s our home ground and we can beat them. See you guys at 7:15.

UFO COBRAS. IT"S DIRTY GAME;

Many people come up to me on the streets, asking where the name UFO Cobras originated. It's quite simple, before each game, the teammates inject Cobra venom into their blood. Alien Cobra Venom. Some say, it's what gives us the super human courage we need to come back week after week. Others say it gives us the strength to hold our heads up high, despite the current standing of 8th (out of 10 teams). All I know for sure is that when i arrive for the game, my blood is green. My eyes are slanted. I can't feel my legs. And occasionally I vomit up dinner. Just like a cobra. So now you know the history. Its time to step into the now. Welcome to Lucky Strike- The internet version.

This blog is going to be updated after every game, more or less. So you can read about it from the comfort of your chair while waiting for your porn sites to download. It's going to tell you all you need to know about the dirrty game if you weren't fortunate enough to watch it live.

See you Tuesday when we take on Team Wang at 7:15pm. They're sitting behind in 9th position and are eager to take our slot and climb up the ladder. Remember to bring your fangs cobras.