If I was a superhero my name would be SuperSorry

The name super soccer conjures up images of a super football. A game played only by the gods, the super men. On Tuesday nights when we rip off our ties, glasses and collared shirts, we transform into those super men. True, we may not choose to wear our underpants over our shorts, but we do suffer the same fate as all super men: a flaw, a weakness so great that it renders our powers useless. That flaw is the ball. You think it’s green just by chance? No my friend, it’s green because its full of heart-stopping kryptonite.

Every time my foot touches it, I can literally feel my heart stop. Survival mode takes over and I kick it away as quickly as I can. Even if it is to the wrong team. As I said, I’m SuperSorry. Fortunately not all of the UFO Cobras have the same weakness as me. For Rory, the ball is his friend. And he proved it by scoring a dramatic goal in the first minute. For Jerome, this was a mistake as he is SuperStitious, believing a goal so early would be our undoing. And by chance, it was. The game restarted and the pace was electric. Despite being 2 players short, the Cobras managed to keep Team Wang on their toes. Brilliant passes and great goal work by Hobs ensured that we were always pushing forward. A missed header by Jerome would have put us into a commanding position. But it was not to be. Team Wang kept their cool under enormous pressure and managed to score 3 goals by half time.

And so it was that the second half began with the Cobras chasing 3-1. Moments later, it was 4-1, then 5-1. Team Wang obviously knew about Jonny’s fishing injury that nearly cost him his leg and played into it. But then Jonny did the unthinkable and set up a great Springbok (off the wall shot) off his gimp leg. Nick received and struck. It whooshed straight into the back post. 5-2. We had a chance. It was our big break. High-5’s all round. Circle Jerk time. But then, Team Wang seized the opportunity and dribbled past every player except Hobbs. With no one back to defend, the ensuing goal was inevitable. 6-2.

So much for the alien cobra venom.

Next week we take on the Spartans. THIS IS (not) SPARTA. It’s our home ground and we can beat them. See you guys at 7:15.

UFO COBRAS. IT"S DIRTY GAME;

Many people come up to me on the streets, asking where the name UFO Cobras originated. It's quite simple, before each game, the teammates inject Cobra venom into their blood. Alien Cobra Venom. Some say, it's what gives us the super human courage we need to come back week after week. Others say it gives us the strength to hold our heads up high, despite the current standing of 8th (out of 10 teams). All I know for sure is that when i arrive for the game, my blood is green. My eyes are slanted. I can't feel my legs. And occasionally I vomit up dinner. Just like a cobra. So now you know the history. Its time to step into the now. Welcome to Lucky Strike- The internet version.

This blog is going to be updated after every game, more or less. So you can read about it from the comfort of your chair while waiting for your porn sites to download. It's going to tell you all you need to know about the dirrty game if you weren't fortunate enough to watch it live.

See you Tuesday when we take on Team Wang at 7:15pm. They're sitting behind in 9th position and are eager to take our slot and climb up the ladder. Remember to bring your fangs cobras.